Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?