pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!