I'm in love with you.
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.