Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg

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(847): All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg http://tfl.nu/5dma

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(404): View more from Georgia

Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.

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(404): Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn. http://tfl.nu/mlpv

Replies (124) Good night (5837) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

high people should be assigned attendants

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(757): high people should be assigned attendants http://tfl.nu/w28j

Replies (14) Good night (3978) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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(661): View more from California

i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..

(951): View more from California

u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!

(661): View more from California

i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u

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(661): i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break.. (951): u hav a 3 hour lunch break?! (661): i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u http://tfl.nu/1ary

Replies (40) Good night (7933) Bad night (677)
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(425): View more from Washington

This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.

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(425): This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference. http://tfl.nu/xg4w

Replies (51) Good night (8831) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.

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(774): I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass. http://tfl.nu/6q4x

Replies (27) Good night (11404) Bad night (1074) Order T-Shirt
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(870): View more from Arkansas

So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button

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(870): So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button http://tfl.nu/tmep

Replies (50) Good night (9245) Bad night (2848) Order T-Shirt
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(678): View more from Georgia

We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER

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(678): We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER http://tfl.nu/fxy8

Replies (7) Good night (2295) Bad night (610) Order T-Shirt
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(708): View more from Illinois

Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.

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(708): Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover. http://tfl.nu/rh7v

Replies (1) Good night (1227) Bad night (1218) Order T-Shirt
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(310): View more from California

Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide

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(310): Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide http://tfl.nu/450d

Replies (7) Good night (2323) Bad night (531) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?

(315): View more from New York

Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.

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(202): Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse? (315): Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance. http://tfl.nu/q51f

Replies (2) Good night (773) Bad night (228)
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(954): View more from Florida

in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.

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(954): in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine. http://tfl.nu/pi7u

Replies (2) Good night (763) Bad night (270) Order T-Shirt
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(360): View more from Washington

You fed me pizza off a sword last night.

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(360): You fed me pizza off a sword last night. http://tfl.nu/xrl7

Replies (17) Good night (1341) Bad night (227) Order T-Shirt
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell

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(215): There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell http://tfl.nu/i2t1

Replies (10) Good night (1504) Bad night (290)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.

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(202): Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT. http://tfl.nu/ohed

Replies (5) Good night (567) Bad night (211) Order T-Shirt

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