Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
