Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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