HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
