Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
