Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
