Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
