i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
