that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
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maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
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So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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