physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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