Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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