Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
