I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
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