still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
