He kissed a someone with a penis
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
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I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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