can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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