oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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