I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
