i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
