careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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