spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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