this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i dont even know how to be here
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize