bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
