We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
God I need to hump something, right now.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize