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I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
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