Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.

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  (410): I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot. http://tfl.nu/03m3
  Replies (15) Good night (2973) Bad night (801)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.

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  (515): Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life. http://tfl.nu/dizz
  Replies (60) Good night (593) Bad night (5013)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits

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  (209): it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits http://tfl.nu/hc25
  Replies (22) Good night (1071) Bad night (7275)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  NEVER shave your cleavage hair.

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  (804): NEVER shave your cleavage hair. http://tfl.nu/pogh
  Replies (87) Good night (576) Bad night (9550)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!

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  (708): you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas! http://tfl.nu/ibug
  Replies (10) Good night (5618) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.

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  (204): this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food. http://tfl.nu/5ycb
  Replies (9) Good night (1419) Bad night (4294)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it

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  (914): i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it http://tfl.nu/9xaf
  Replies (36) Good night (6975) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music

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  (303): Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music http://tfl.nu/qvs5
  Replies (9) Good night (889) Bad night (3090)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.

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  (303): Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize. http://tfl.nu/r92i
  Replies (20) Good night (3009) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either

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  (503): since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either http://tfl.nu/9xmp
  Replies (11) Good night (2357) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?

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  (631): I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend? http://tfl.nu/hi71
  Replies (3) Good night (1147) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.

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  (828): They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal. http://tfl.nu/hfw2
  Replies (6) Good night (1283) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER

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  (412): I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER http://tfl.nu/g992
  Replies (3) Good night (998) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?

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  (334): Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything? http://tfl.nu/366l
  Replies (9) Good night (621) Bad night (1498)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.

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  (360): That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back. http://tfl.nu/4p4r
  Replies (1) Good night (705) Bad night (162)

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