I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
