Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize