so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
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Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
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I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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