Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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