think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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