More tranny stories later!
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
being pregnant is like rehab
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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