yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This baby is an asshole
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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