Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
