like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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