Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
