me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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