Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
