Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
