David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
