He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
