You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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