there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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