what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
