She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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