if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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