you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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