Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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