this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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