my mouth tastes like poor choices
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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