So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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