Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
