To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
