I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
