My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
