Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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