Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize