He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize