to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
