His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
