you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
