Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
