hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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