summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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