found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
