last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
