we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
