Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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