quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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