god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
