I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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