You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet