Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...

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(678): View more from Georgia

I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars

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(732): View more from New Jersey

and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening

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(914): View more from New York

i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke

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(419): View more from Ohio

You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?

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(254): View more from Texas

It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.

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(763): View more from Minnesota

No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested

(612): View more from Minnesota

Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us

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(206): View more from Washington

You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.

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