Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to